I realise that you might be expecting some sort of wedding hack or money-saving advice, but I thought I might also share some de-stressing tips for brides. Or anyone else who is involved in planning a wedding. It can be a stressful time, even for the most excited and organised bride or planner.
Everyone out there knows that planning a wedding is a huge undertaking. Especially when you choose not to enlist professional help and enjoy doing a lot of DIYs. Even when loving planning your wedding, it can be, well…hard! In those moments, when it all feels a bit too much, try to remember that it’s okay to feel this way! Tackle the HARD times head-on. I’ve compiled a few tips I’ve picked up along the way which you might find useful too. It’s a nifty little acronym so it’s easy to remember even when you have the urge to punch someone in the face.
H – Hello, I am the Bride?
I have said this way, way, way too many times than I would like to admit. Even though I have an amazing fiance and wonderfully supportive family and bridal team. I sometimes still feel like my ideas or wishes are being overlooked to accommodate someone else. And that, my friends, does not go down well with me.
It took me a good nine months of being engaged to realise that yes, I am the bride but I am not the only person who has been dreaming of this day. You do need to accommodate other people. The sooner you realise this, the easier it will be. Try not react the minute you feel as if you are being pushed too far. Think about what it is that is being asked of you, by whom and why. You may be completely entitled to your “I am the Bride” tantrum (trust me there will be times when you certainly are). But, you might also need to take one for the team (those times will come too). And you are a team, remember that.
A – Am I being unreasonable?
Ask yourself this and ask it often. If like me, you’ve been dreaming of your wedding since you knew what a wedding was, its a lot of pressure on one day. Yes, the definition of reasonable gets relaxed for you when you become engaged. Yes, most people in your life will go above and beyond to help make your dreams come true but it is really easy to take advantage without realising it.
As I am writing this, I recall telling my future sister-in-law and bridesmaid that she (and all other bridesmaids) was not allowed a spray tan for my wedding. Hmmm, at the time I swear it was totally reasonable. Looking back on it now, it was not. Sorry, Claire!
My tip is; before you tell someone a rule, want or expect you have for your wedding, ask yourself if it is reasonable. If, after thinking it through and probably (for the best) sleeping on it, you decide that it absolutely is – then and only then actually, say it to them.
R – Really?
I had my “really” moment when Adam and I were designing our menus. To be clear, it was not the actual menu items which nearly broke us, it was how they would be printed. Adam wanted to include the vegetarian main on the menu and I did not because it messed with my design.
Looking back on it now, I cannot believe that I let something so trivial make me so angry. At Adam of all people. And let me tell you, I was blood boiling furious with my wonderful finance because he dared to disagree with me on the wording of a menu. Poor man.
I will not say don’t let the little things get to you because they will. Unfortunately, it is inevitable. But, I am choosing to believe that it is natural and okay. If I believe that, you can too! Now, when I disagree with Adam or anyone else on an aspect of our wedding, I ask myself if it is really worth it (hint, most of the time it is not).
D – Deep breath everyone!
So you’ve shouted at your fiance for not agreeing with you. You’ve told your bridesmaids what they are not allowed to do to their own bodies. Maybe (definitely) you’ve had a little cry because someone in your life was a little too critical of something you were really excited about. Stop. Take a deep breath (and maybe have a glass of wine or two). You are not the only bride to feel this way and you will not be the last. Hopefully, and if you remember that weddings are HARD, you will be okay.