I’m going to let you in on a little secret, a little “what I wish I knew before my wedding“. It’s not glamorous and it’s not super sweet. It is not one about the moment I ~finally felt like a Bride~ (cause let’s be honest, I felt like a Bride the moment Adam slipped that sparkling ring onto my finger).
Weddings, by virtue of their nature, put a massive amount of pressure on a woman to look her best.
And it is hard. It is hard for so many women but no one talks about it? Every single wedding website I signed up too sent endless pages of advice about adopting special skin care routines and healthy eating plans exactly six months before the big day.
I don’t understand why a woman’s regular skin and body are not good enough for her wedding day. Would we take kindly to someone suggesting we lose weight and take on expensive skin care for any other event in our lives? No, we would not. Put the word wedding in front of it and its A-Okay. But what I think is worse, is that we all accept it. And that level of criticism extends to our bridal parties too, with or without the bride’s input. They too have to look their skinniest, smoothest and shiniest. I apologised to my best friend a few weeks before her wedding for potentially ruining her wedding photos with my spotty face. She thought I was absurd, I was but that just illustrates how much pressure is on a bride and her bridesmaids.
So there I was, six months before my wedding, in the middle of the worst acne of my life. I cried. Cried a lot. I told Adam it was unfair and I tried an endless amount of face washes and serums. I did not leave the house without a perfectly applied layer of foundation and I didn’t even call my mom (hey mom!) on FaceTime without some form of coverup. I was going to be a spotty bride and I was ashamed. But why? Adam loved me all the same. Why was I so caught up in my appearance when the only person whose opinion actually mattered loved me, spots and all?
So, buckle up my friends as I’ve got a list (gasp!) designed to help you say… F*ck It to those insecurities on your wedding day!
F-ace your reality, and then make it work for you.
Do some soul searching and learn to accept your insecurities, whatever they may be. Once you have moved past the denial phase, you can focus on making sure your insecurities are not a focus on your wedding day.
U-nfortunately, there will be the insensitive people who will do something, knowingly or not, to make you feel worse about your insecurities.
You know the one, who finds it necessary to point out a large pimple on your face. As if you didn’t notice it. That’s okay – haters gonna hate. You’ve found the love of your life and are having a kickass wedding. Remember that and you’ll be just fine.
C-ry when you need too about it but not on your wedding day.
It’s okay to cry, it’s healthy. It’s important to get it all out and dealt with in the months leading up to the big day so that you only cry happy tears on the big day.
K-eep in mind why you are getting married.
You’ve found someone who loves you, in the skin you are in right now. Not the one you think you need in order to have the perfect wedding. They are not marrying you with the hopes that you will look like a blushing bride every day of your lives.
I-nvest in quality suppliers who will handle your insecurities with grace and do their best to help you feel beautiful.
My make-up artist was flaaaakeeey and stressed me out but she never once made me feel ashamed about my skin. When I told her I was worried about covering my scarring, she did not leave until I was 100% happy that she had succeeded. It also helped so much knowing that a professional would be looking after my major insecurities on the day.
T-alk about it with your Photographer and/or Videographer.
Let them know about your concerns or insecurities and they will do their best to help you avoid highlighting them. I was worried about having arm fat pinched on my dress straps. I told my photographer and she reminded me to adjust my arm countless times on the wedding day. This allowed me to relax and not think about it because I knew she had my back.
But, above all else, remember the most important piece of advise I think any bride should take to heart.
Happy Brides Are The Prettiest Brides!
It is as simple as that!