When planning a wedding, there are so many very important decisions to make. Choosing your Bridesmaids can often feel like a quick and easy decision. You know who your close friends are, right? Or perhaps, you’ve been a bridesmaid for someone else already, so that’s socially decided for you.
I am here to tell you, tread carefully my friends. You might not realise it now but whomever you choose will affect a wide range of aspects of your wedding and events leading up to the big day. Bridesmaids, in all honesty, have the ability to completely ruin your wedding planning experience. The good news is, if you pick the right team they will only make your wedding that much more amazing.
Choosing your bridesmaids is not a no-brainer. It is not a decision any future bride should take lightly or be peer-pressured into making. Your bridesmaids are going to become the ladies (or men) that you lean on the most for support during your wedding planning journey. They are not simply there to plan you a fun party and wear a pretty dress on your big. If they think that’s all it is, you should think twice about asking them to be part of your team.
Your bridal team should be filled with your close friends and family, most certainly yes. More importantly, filled with ladies who love you and support you already. This is not the role for a friend of convenience or your best friend from primary school who you see once a year and never talk to in between visits. Those types of friendships are fantastic in so many ways but they are not suited to planning a wedding. You need women who you won’t feel guilty for calling at 11 pm because all of a sudden you realised you might actually hate your wedding dress (does it sound too much like this happened to me?…)
Here are some of my top tips to consider when picking the right team. Who will hold your hand through the planning process, right up to seconds before you walk down the aisle (quite literally in some cases).
Choose a close friend or family member
Pretty obvious and the only choices, really. I personally would not recommend asking a new friend to be part of the team or a family member you are not very close with. You need to feel super comfortable with these ladies.
From a planning aspect, it will make things much easier for all involved if they know your likes, dislikes and personal style. Can they walk into a shop and pick out something that is “so you”? This will ensure that they can help you make informed decisions. They will be able to talk you down from choosing a dress they just know is not right for you.
From a personal perspective, there will be many dress fittings (for the bride and bridesmaid). More than one sleepover (they tend to just happen?). On your wedding day itself, you will more than likely be getting ready together and by the time you are married I can guarantee you will have seen one another in various stages of dress. You might even have to ask one of them to hold your dress up whilst you pee. Truth.
They should be someone with whom you are currently in tune with
You might have someone in your life whom you consider to be a wonderful friend. Maybe they are even your sibling. But maybe they are a few years older than you or live in another country and therefore you don’t see or talk to one another very often. Ensure that whoever you choose, you talk to them regularly. They should be part of your current social circle. A friend who was probably one of the first people you called to announce your engagement.
This advice might not sit well with some people and you might feel that you simply could not leave your older sister or special friend out. Which is 100% understandable but you might have to adjust your expectations as it is unlikely that they will be as involved as your other bridesmaids.
Create a balanced group (if you are having more than a couple bridesmaids)
You should think carefully about the personalities of your friends. Do they all get along with one another? Would they be happy and comfortable to get into planning things amongst themselves without your guidance? I would be wary of asking a group of girls who are all party animals or all completely disorganised (yet lovable). At the end of the day, you are asking them to help support you in planning your wedding. You should feel confident that the group will take their roles seriously, whilst having as much fun as possible.
Spread the support
I think that most of us turn to our friends for different types of support. You might have a friend who you can moan for a week straight to and is always as outraged as you the minute something goes wrong (I am totes this friend btw). You might also have a really positive friend who always tries to guide you through difficult times. To plan a wedding, you will need both and everything in between. It will really help if you are able to have a good mix of different support styles from your team.
Consider their (and your) location carefully
This is a tricky one. For many of us, we would move heaven and earth to be at our friend’s wedding. But, your bridesmaids will be expected to (and want to) attend numerous different meetings before the big day. If they live very far away, it is important to consider the pressure this might put on them. Especially if they are the only one out of the group to not live down the road. Chances are, they will miss out on somethings. I had two bridesmaids living in the country where my wedding took place and two living in the same country as me. This worked well for us. There was an even balance of who was where and everyone knew that electronic communication was what we would be relying on.
And with that, comes the end of my words of wisdom on the quest of picking your bridal team. Good luck Brides! I hope that everyone manages to have an “I Do Crew” as amazing as mine. Adam and I have been married for a little over a month and I already miss having a special team of support on the other end of my phone. So cherish these moments with your girls because they are almost as special as marrying the love of your life.
Soon I’ll be sharing my list of warning signs for a potential bad choice in bridesmaid, so if that sounds like a good read to you, sign up to the blog so you don’t miss out!