Christelle was a bridesmaid in September last year and she was super hands-on! It’s so lovely to interview someone when you can tell they really enjoyed their experience. I am sure that Christelle was a wonderful bridesmaid. Hopefully, her experience will put her in good stead for her own wedding as she has recently become engaged – Yay! I hope you all enjoy reading her inside tips and tricks as much as I did! Future Bridesmaids (and Brides) out there, take note as she shares some really valuable advice.
Were you expecting to be a bridesmaid?
Would you have been disappointed if you were not asked to be a bridesmaid?
No, as I was not expecting to be asked (and felt very honoured when I was asked!). Also, I knew that I would have been roped into helping in some way, either assisting in making decorations or replying to panic emails for little details or design elements as Tash can never make a decision… unless its a decision about wine 😉
Did you feel like you had a choice in the matter or was it simply assumed you would be a bridesmaid?
Yes I had a choice
Were you friends with or close to the other members of the bridal party?
No, I had never spent any time with some of them
On a scale of one to ten, how happy and constructive was the general group dynamic?
Negative & Hard Work | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Happy & Constructive
Was this the first wedding you had a role in?
Were you married at the time of this wedding?
If you were not married at the time you were a bridesmaid, would you choose to have bridesmaid at your future wedding, based on your experience?
Yes of course!
Please tell us why?
I got random emails from Tash during the planning, from what chairs to have, cleaning down old dirty horseshoes for table decorations to messages of pure panic from the bride-to-be that her wedding dress was pink after looking at the photos of her in it for too long! I hope that in those times of frenzy I was a great support for her and that she knew she could rely on me to help calm her down and make certain suggestions which would help her get out of her muddle (and also be there to say no!). When I get going onto planning my wedding I hope to not only have my ladies being a part of my wedding day but be there for support, guidance and to know when to pour me a glass of wine along the way; we all need a little help from our friends and it also makes wedding planning fun know that the heavy task of planning a wedding can be lightened from your favourite people.
Would you have preferred to simply be a guest at the wedding? Please tell us why.
I would not have preferred being a wedding guest. It was great fun and full on at times in the lead up to the wedding but it was the morning when we were all getting ready that we got to reflect on it all and also make the bride-to-be the leading lady she deserved to be after all her hard work! It was such a special moment to share with her that I would never take it back!
Would you consider being a bridesmaid again?
Please give a reason for your above answer
I am bridesmaid two more times this year and after Tash’s wedding, I cannot wait to celebrate their special day and also help them along the way with the wedding planning and hen dos!
Did you feel resentful for the financial obligation involved in being a bridesmaid?
I had to budget but I was happy to spend the money for my friend/family member
Do you feel that Brides should be expected to pay for all of her maid’s requirements for the wedding day, or should the expenses be shared?
Yes and no… I think it depends on a lot of elements. It totally depends on the bride and what she wants (as it is her day). She may have everything sorted for you so you are totally pampered and ready to walk down the aisle with her but also she may ask you to help contribute to hair or makeup costs as she just can’t afford to do everything; let’s admit it, weddings cost a bomb! As long as what the bride is asking you to pay for can always be adapted/optional to the individual finance as they may also be cost-conscience I think it is fine.
Were you expected to pay for the bridal shower and/or hen party?
Based on your above answer, do you think that it is fair that a Bride pays for the wedding day necessities and the bridesmaids pay for her shower/hen do?
Yes, I think it all balances out 🙂
Please give future bridesmaids some advice on how best to deal with the financial obligations.
As bridesmaids, we decided to ask for instalments for the Hen-Do to help spread the cost for everyone but to also have some cash saved up for the deposits so that we would not be out of pocket. I did a lot of extra buying of things, some which I raised with the other bridesmaids and some I thought ‘ah it’s fine, it’s not that much’, but I did it quite a few times which eventually adds up! So I think being completely upfront with costs with the other bridesmaids so it is equally shared financially.
Based on your experience as a Bridesmaid, what piece of advice would you give a Bride-to-Be?
Have fun and try to enjoy the experience of planning a wedding! At the end of it is your’s and your partner’s day so do what you want; you are the main two who will be looking back on the day in ten, twenty years so don’t let things or people take over. And of course, your bridesmaids are there to help you along the way so don’t feel like you can’t lean on them for help and advice.
What advice do you have for future Groom’s, based on your experience?
Help the bride out! Some guys think its just down to the bride-to-be to do it all. The majority of the time it is best to have a leader as the old saying goes, ‘too many chefs in the kitchen…’ but every good chef has a team around them to make the perfect dish! Pop that apron on and become the best sous chef for your partner!
What was your pet peeve during the planning process?
I really enjoyed the experience and was so honoured to be there for my friend, however, my only peeve was a clash with another bridesmaid. Well, not an aired clash as nothing was said but we just didn’t get on at all. I did not want to raise it with the bride as she had enough going on and I did not want to upset the group dynamics further so just left it, we didn’t know each other before being bridesmaids so I just tried to carry on the best I could until the big day. Therefore, I think the choice of bridesmaids is important and something to think about for all brides-to-be.
What did you love about being a bridesmaid?
Being there every step of the way, the highs & lows the laughs and panics! It was so special for me to be there and see the all of the backstage elements to how it all evolved on the day. I loved it!
What surprised you the most during the planning process?
How quickly the day went! I was only a bridesmaid so it has made me think that when I am the bride I will try my best to just breathe it all in and enjoy it 🙂
What surprised you the most on the wedding day?
That I loved my bridesmaid dress! I am not normally a gold, sequin kind of girl but as soon as I put it on that day I felt amazing and rocked it! (the dance floor photos are the best from that day!)
On a scale of one to ten, how time-consuming was it being a bridesmaid?
Super chilled | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Crazy busy – I had no personal life outside of the wedding for months
Did you feel as if this experience strengthened the bond with your friend/family member or did damage your relationship?
We are no longer on speaking terms | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | We are closer than ever!
Did you ever feel overwhelmed during the process?
No, it was pretty smooth sailing
Please tell us a bit more
I don’t really get overwhelmed in situations like this so just took everything in my stride.
Finally, what advice would you give future bridesmaids out there?
As with the advice to the bride-to-be, enjoy it. You have got a back-stage pass to be apart of your family member/sister/friend’s special day. The memories you will take away are the best!
As you can tell, Christelle did not have a problem-free bridesmaid experience. What I think is so important to take from the interview is that she took it in her stride. She focused on the Bride. It is so important that as a bridesmaid we remember our role. We are there to support our friend or family.