It’s no secret, I loved planning our wedding. It was one of the most satisfying and inspiring processes of my life. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to plan my dream day from start to finish.
I was blessed with an amazing Fiance throughout our planning journey. We had our fights about menus and other silly unimportant details but we were a true team on the big, important matters. In the end, its what made it our wedding journey and I would never change a thing. That being said, I wish my wonderful Husband could have had a heads-up on a few matters. He figured them out for himself and pretty fast (poor man). It probably would have saved Adam a bit of a headache if he had been pre-warned of a few things.
1. You might know that we have been imagining this day since we were five but you don’t really understand what that means.
I don’t believe that a man can truly imagine what it is like to finally be planning THE DAY. We’ve been picturing this day for so long that when it starts to become a reality, it
can be is overwhelming. This is what is going on in our heads:
As the Groom, you may have never thought about a flower arrangement or colour scheme before but your Bride has. She has a carefully curated Pinterest board ready and waiting. Tread carefully when you start throwing around opinions you’ve just formulated or start stomping on your Brides plan for the flowers that she has had for the past two years. That’s not to say that you can’t or shouldn’t have opinions of your own – you definitely should! Share them a little more carefully than you usually would and always be respectful of the Brides suggestions and ideas.
2. There is a lot of pressure on Brides – like, a lot.
To look beautiful, to have an amazing dress, to show the right kind of emotion, to be happy. The list is honestly never ending and everyone has an opinion and it kind of sucks.
As a Groom, it’s important to be aware that your Bride might be anxious or carrying a lot of pressure with regards to her appearance on the big day. It will go a long way if you remind her (and often) that you are marrying her in the skin she is in right now. Not because you expect her to be a beautiful Bride – even if you are 100% sure she will be.
3. The Bride really does want to please everyone BUT she also wants everyone else to want to please her.
Most Brides can get on board with making small and reasonable adjustments for close family and key members of the Bridal party. But, it’s not such an easy pill to swallow when a Bride feels like her needs aren’t being met. And I know it is super hard for the Groom – trying to please EVERYONE, not just the Bride. Perhaps, the Groom’s most important role during the planning phase is representing both of you when dealing with friends and family. He might have to be the bad cop so she can be the good cop but remember, it is only temporary.
4. Sometimes, you just need to give the Bride what she wants.
Within reason, of course. Maybe it is agreeing to a certain dessert or flower arrangement. Whatever it is, it’s probably not nearly as a big deal as she is making out. Forgive her temporary wedding madness and provided it’s not a massive deal breaker and something that you personally don’t feel strongly about, let her have it her way. Honestly, on your wedding day, I can almost guarantee that you will both be too happy to care about desserts or flowers so if it’s a small thing to you, rather save the arguments for the big things.
5. Decide for yourself what’s most important to YOU and let the Bride know.
You probably won’t actually care what exact champagne is served or what flowers are in the Bridesmaids bouquets. You might feel really strongly about the music and food and that’s okay – it is your wedding too! If you let the Bride know early on that those are non-negotiable for you it will allow her to adjust her expectations and respect your wishes before an unnecessary argument develops.
6. She will get stressed, she will get emotional, she will overreact.
But, she’ll be prepared for it, you probably should be too. It doesn’t mean that she isn’t’ having fun or isn’t excited to be marrying you. It simply means that wedding planning is A LOT and it is an emotional rollercoaster. Try not to add to your Bride’s worries by overanalysing it.
7. You’ll never really know how much this day means to a Bride.
I get that you think you know but honestly, you really do not know! It is a truly indescribable moment in a woman’s life and it is emotional as hell. Don’t decide for her how she should act, look or feel, just roll with it.
8. The first time the Groom sees the Bride is an iconic wedding ~moment~ but, seeing the Groom for the first time is a BIG deal too.
Guys, I sobbed when I saw Adam dressed up moments before our ceremony. Like proper, heart racing, can’t catch my breath THIS IS HAPPENING sobbing. Every single emotion I was keeping in check throughout the day boiled over. Seeing him pushed me over the edge and I will be eternally grateful that we had a private moment before the ceremony (and that our photographers and videographer captured it so genuinely). Future Grooms, be prepared to support your Bride at this moment – she’s going to need it just as much as you are!
Adam was amazing throughout our planning process and did so well in managing my needs and expectations. In my opinion, our wedding was a true collaboration and I hope that we have been able to help other Grooms out there on what to expect and how best to deal with it.