Are you a Bridesmaid? Well, this one is for you! But, before we go any further, I would like to add a disclaimer which applies to this entire post. Here goes…This one is dedicated to the Bridesmaids. The ladies behind the beautiful Bride and who often work tirelessly to make their close friend or family members dream day a reality. That’s not to say their needs are more important than the Bride’s – of course, no one thinks that! But, I do think that sometimes a Bridesmaid’s needs are overlooked, and often by themselves.
So, today I am talking about the seven most important tips I think all Bridesmaids should know before they embark on the crazy, beautiful and special journey that is being part of someone’s wedding day.
1. You will feel overwhelmed, too.
It does not matter how prepared you are or how many weddings you have been involved in. Chances are, the Bride is extremely important to you and there will come a time when you will worry about disappointing her or missing the mark. It might be a small worry or, it could be a full-on panic attack. And that’s okay! Whatever causes it, speak to your fellow Bridesmaids and let them know you are worried. Chances are, they will have worries too. You can support one another and perhaps they are better suited to other tasks – it takes a village, guys.
But, whatever you do, do not tell the Bride! She has enough of her own worries to worry about you too. This might be especially hard if the Bride is usually your go-to person for small life crises but it is still not okay to add to the list of her concerns. It might be tough, but you got to figure this one out without her.
2. You won’t feel like eating either, but you most definitely should.
We all have our reasons for wanting to skip a meal. Maybe you can’t eat if you are anxious (raises my hand) or maybe you are worried about being bloated. Whatever your worry is, it is not worth it. Stay fed and watered all day – the worst thing that could happen is that you pass out from dehydration whilst standing up at the altar next to your best friend. And trust me, she won’t be amused. No one will notice if you are a little bloated (it’s probably all in your head girl!) but, a tumbling over Bridesmaid will be the talk of the wedding. Which is will not go down well.
My advice would be that each time you remind the bride to eat or drink some water, check-in with yourself too. That way, you will both stay on top form all day long. Two birds, one stone my friends.
3. Beauty standards don’t stop at the Bride.
And they should stop, all together. But, we are where we are. Bridesmaids face many of the same worries as Brides. Will the dress be flatter, will she look her best. Wanting to have the perfect hairstyle and manicure too. But, much like your Brides future husband is not marrying her because she looks perfect. You are not apart of the wedding because you are expected to look perfect. Your friend or family member loves YOU and wants you to be with her every step of the way.
4. The Bride won’t (and shouldn’t) have time to worry about your feelings.
Speaking from my own experience, I chose my Bridesmaids because I knew they would support me as well as one another. I knew that they would work well as a team and that is so important. You are not just there to support the Bride but to support your fellow Bridesmaids too. Checking in with the Bride? Perhaps pop a personal message to the Bridesmaids too (especially the Maid of Honour if it is not you). See if they are okay and if someone might need you to pick up some slack. Trust me, they will appreciate it. And so will the Bride.
5. It is an exhausting day – get your beauty sleep!
Everyone worries about what time the Bride is getting to bed the night before the big day. Often the Bridesmaids are up late finishing last minute tasks – which is sometimes unavoidable. But, if possible, the Bridal Team should plan to go to bed at the same time as the Bride. If you are going to support your best friend on the most important day of her life, you need to be on your A-Game!
6. Not all Bridesmaids will have as much time to dedicate as each other.
School days are long behind us and so is being at the same time of our lives as our friends. The Bridal Team might be made up of new moms, single ladies, newlyweds and career women. Chances are, you all have different budgets in terms of money and time. As a team, you need to have an open and frank discussion about how much time and money you each have to dedicate to your mission. It should be a safe space without judgement. Maybe it will include the Bride and maybe it would work better if you left her out of worry about your budgets as well as the main wedding one! Either way, you need to be honest from day one so that there are no nasty surprises or suppressed resentment after all is said and done.
7. You will miss one another once it is all over.
It might sound odd because you will all still be friends but there is something about being part of a group all planning and excited for the same event. It is so special. Once you no longer have an excuse to discuss nail polish colours or hairstyles for weeks on end, you will miss one another. From my personal experience, being involved in a wedding strengthens the bonds of friendship. So, enjoy the group chat – even if you receive 50 messages when you are in an important meeting. Once it is all over and that special group chat is quite for months on end, you will miss those days.
There you have it, beautiful Bridesmaid. Now, go forth and be the very best Bridesmaid you can be!